Play-pretend sure have its price.
Even though it looks like I dun care, I dun bother, deep inside,,, this heart is breaking apart every time they did that.. What is “that” u might ask and I would say “everything and nothing” .. Why? hmm that will be because I simply cannot possibly list out everything that they did that might hurt me intentionally or unintentionally.. I can act as if it was nothing but you as human being with feelings, can you not hurt me further if you can help it? I can only stand so much~
Am I not sensitive enough to them?? If you ask me, I would say “I am too sensitive to other people feelings that sometimes I have to remind myself to be passive and senseless”. Pretending to not feel others pain or sensitivity is definitely a hard-work.. you cannot ask me to be sensitive and tends to other people’s feelings and make them feel better,, no I won’t.. Why, again? because if I keep tending to your sensitivity, it will only lead you to be more n more sensitive and instead of being care for, people will find you pathetic, since all they see is you being cared for too much that other people pretending in front of you.. sorry but I am not the kind of person that can say one thing in front of you and say other things to others.. Even if it going to hurt you, I will say it.. When I accept you into my world, it already being stamped that I will take care of you and protect you. My way of caring is different from other people.. something or how I approach things and responds to my F&Fs might give out wrong impression; as I tend to seems insensitive and harsh but believe me, it’s for your own good I am saying all those words. I believe in being faithful and saying the truth as being protective to the people I love. If me as a friend did not state the truth to you, who else going to do that?
I know its a hard-work being true friend and stay true in any relationship, but if I try to do it why can you not? I am not asking so much, just do not treat me as if I do not have feeling as if I’m heartless.. I’m human being, normal person.. My heart knows what is hurt, what is pain and it definitely familiar with heart-breaks.. My heart can only tolerate so much~ It can feel hurt as much as it can hurt others..
Do not care bout my heart, I do not mind.. Do not bother bout me coz it definitely make me feel better and comfortable.. Do not do anything for me but please do not hurt me further.. I did not disturb your time I did not invade your space I did not bother you with my problems unless you ask I did nothing bad to you,, so please do the same for me.. Asking my opinion is totally at your own risk because I’m giving a straight honest opinion and view points and if you can not accept it cause it does not fulfill your expected answer, do not even bother to ask me next time cause you will definitely get frustrated with the answer I give.
Wise man said “Treat people how you want to be treated”
I did so but why people treat me in worst possible way that I did not even imagine doing to them??
